Trust defined is the faith or belief that things are going to happen a certain kind of way. For example, that people are going to be loyal, or stand by their commitments. In relationships, trust often becomes a defining factor to the success of the pairing.
We may trust in things, hold things in trust, trust in each other, etc. Like faith, trust often refers to the unknown, as with “we trust everything will be OK.” Trust can also be a controlling kind of thing as when we trust each other with truths or behaviors that fit our agenda. For instance, “I’m trusting you not to fail me” or, “I’m trusting you to be true, or not lie.”
Often times, our rules of love are based on trust. Many people fall “out of love” when they feel their trust has been betrayed. (See Love at wakingupwithpatrick.com).
As presence comes to the forefront of our lives, we begin to see trust differently. We come to the knowledge that trust is a bit of an illusion. The majority of us are entrusted with this wonderful life we have been given. Entrusted with this physical form, body, temple, whatever you want to call it, yet fail ourselves by not doing everything in our power to honor and take care of ourselves as we should.
Yet, we make expectations of others when we entrust them with the secrets, our observations and our hearts. We want to trust them yet we can’t trust ourselves to take care of us.
The student of meditation comes to the understanding that laying the burden of trust upon another is more about control than anything else. If I tell you I’m going to trust you not to tell this story or that story or entrust you to follow through on a mission or desire of mine, I’m really seeking a bit of control over you. And watch out if you fail my “trust.”
You may think of trust as a bit of an illusion. See yourself clearly, see others clearly (not as you think they are) and the need to trust will fade.
We should be able to trust that people will stand by us; do as they say, be loyal, etc.; yet, we really are not seeing the nature of others. If we did, we would not be putting such great responsibilities on each other.
We set each other up to fail. If you betray my trust (fail my attempt to control you), I will shun you and separate myself from you. As we see each other more clearly, we find, as much as we want to trust, we are all subject to fail the expectations of others.
You can remove many aspects of the need for trust from your life. If you don’t want it repeated, don’t say it. If you say it, be prepared for it to come back to you. If you want trust in a relationship, go for it, but be prepared in the event of its failure. Take the responsibility off of others to meet your expectations; see them as they are. Move toward the positive, remove yourself from the negative. If another fails your trust, or expectations, learn, grow, decide and move forward if necessary.
A meditation, try it out here or there, when it comes to mind or not. Focus your attention on something as you would during meditation.
Consider in the moment your dealings with others, mainly putting expectations on them in areas of trust. Digest what your mind is telling you; don’t judge the thoughts, just observe. Observe if the words “can I trust” or “I’m trusting you” lead to emotions that resemble control or putting expectations on others that will set them up to fail. Bringing conscious awareness to the thoughts may very well change your desire to continue to play the trust game.
Not because you chose to drop this controlling behavior, but rather it fades on its own as presence and understanding come forward in your life.
It’s a new day. Your day. ••